"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Some days it seems to me that time drifts by so slowly, and yet I find myself rushing to complete tasks, trying to make the most of my productivity as if I am attempting to live out the lyrics of a Righteous Brothers song. Other days go by so fast it feels as though I blink and the crisp brightness of morning has flashed into the dark of night, leaving me breathless with wonder watching the day go out like a blister in the sun.
Admittedly, doing nothing, is not an easily found skill in my skill set. I like a honey bee, buzz around all day picking up, putting down. Some days there is clear vision behind the movement, a more beautifully choreographed dance of this and that, stuff and things. Other days, I am a mish-mosh of clamoring about like a heavy footed boot wearing grunge kid in a mosh pit, moving deliberately, without much grace.
Regularly, making a conscious effort to be more present in the moment, I observe that the moment becomes more clearly a dance in the space of time rather than a race with time. Like all dance parties some songs are fast, others are slow, and some, one just has to sit out.
It is when I sit one out that sometimes a storm rises in me, telling me that in sitting it out I loose momentum, I miss the opportunity to move forward, sideways, back, around in circles, but to move nonetheless. Perhaps I am more like a shark, fearful that if I stop moving I will sink to the bottom and die.
However, with time, in time, I am learning to sit on the sidelines, if only for a moment, and catch a breath as I enjoy observing the undying flow of movement on the dance floor of life before me.
In stillness I observe that I am never truly still, as my hearts is always beating while this body that houses me continues to breathe, lungs expanding, blood flowing, thoughts sometimes racing and other times drifting across the horizon of my mind like clouds. Movement on the dance floor of life never ceases. On the days when life feels stagnant, like momentum has ceased to move me forward toward my desired goals, or even backward and sideways away from them, I now acknowledge that the appearance of the feeling of inertia is only an illusion.
The human ego when in a state of myopic self perception demands to be in control of the state of ones life journey, demands to be the DJ choosing the music. When we become skilled in the practice of balancing our ego state into a perception of ourselves in a bigger picture, where all things are moving together and our actions contribute to and evolve from that net, we come to realize something greater than our small ego mind is really weaving the story and is truly playing the roll of DJ on the great dance floor of life. Letting ourselves arrive to the dance party without concern of what the DJ will play, rather, aware of our own passionate desire to dance, or sit on the side and watch the glorious movement of life around us, is the gift we are given when we step out of the stream time management and into the present perfectly timed moment. When we permit ourselves to be swept away in the current of the perceived concept that it, whatever it is, needs to happen right now, we steal from ourselves the grace we can bring to the steps of our own dance led by a partner we may not see, but have the opportunity to trust. In trusting an energy greater than ourselves, we lift the pressure of perfect timing, the pressure of how and who, the pressure of control, and we open to the delight of being in the flow of the magical presence of the conscious universe, which when we allow ourselves, we see is always conspiring for our greater good. Stepping out of the seat of control we come to find ourselves responding with ease to the songs this great DJ chooses to play for us, be them sad country songs, heavy metal ballads, or that happy song you call your jam. Over time, we find ourself waking up with songs in our head like "time is on my side" and "sittin on the dock of the bay, wastin time" without a worry or a care for missing a step or a cue.
Today I acknowledge there is no race, nor place I need to be. I sing "time is on my side" as I look around and perceive all of the choreographed steps of perfect timing being executed by the brilliant magic of nature in the fullness of the season on the precipice of the harvest moon.
We can all enjoy more of each moment by breathing deeply, acknowledging the movement that is always present and does not stop, and the gift of our present awareness in this magic moment, time after time.
With love in joy, slow dancing,