self worth

You Are Enough

It is fair to presume that each of us struggles with feelings of worthiness that conflict with feelings of shame. Shame is that feeling that there is something wrong with you inherently. Worthiness is a feeling counter to shame. Learning how to identify and unwind our self-concepts of shame and transform them into concepts of absolute worth is a challenging and sometimes exhausting process. And acceptance is the key to the unwinding of those knots. Feelings of shame are intertwined with our desire to be approved of, just as explicitly as our feelings of self worth. Learning where to place the power in the world or our inner dialogues is where some of our most profound work can be done. Knowing how to answer questions like, What voices are the most important to listen to? Which voices serve that which is life enhancing? Which voices serve as accepting, forgiving, and life empowering? Which voices walk you closer to the line of liability and regret? As we become more familiar with our voices, we become more capable of skillfully walking in the knowledge of our liabilities, but not being derailed by them.

No one is perfect. No one is without liability, without mistakes, without transgressions of their most integrous being. And alongside that, is the truth uttered by Brene Brown “there are no prerequisites for worthiness”. Just being alive makes you worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of peace, worthy of satisfaction, worthy of happiness, worthy of security, and on the list goes. You are enough.

Being enough as you are does not mean there is not still room to grow, but it does mean there is a baseline of worthiness and self approval to stand on. This baseline is a powerfully strong platform from which to launch a whole and ultimately peaceful life. Choosing to accept who you are, approve of yourself as an ever evolving human, and not shame yourself or others along the way is a great recipe for happiness. I recommend it!

Learning to love ourselves without condition is a process, and one worth undertaking. Such love does not mean that we are exempt from learning to be more discerning, mindful, loving people in thought, feeling, and action, it just means that we also know we can love ourselves and receive love wherever, and whoever we are. Such unconditional love replaces the stories of shame that say people wouldn’t want to love us if they really knew us, with the mantra that as we are, we are enough.

The need for approval is just as important as the need for love. The fundamental fact of the matter in regards to being approved of is that we set the standards for the measurements of approval that we need to meet.

You are enough.

With Love, Always, In All Ways, For Giving,


Empowered Living

I believe that the only limits we truly experience are the ones we put on ourselves. This is most true in relationship to the old stories we tell ourselves about who we are, where we come from, and what we are worth. There is no denying that some of us have had hard lives, or experiences in our lives. However, every day is new, and every moment is filled with opportunity to perceive life with fresh eyes.  One of the greatest treasures of the yoga practice is the refinement of mindfulness that leads to a clear self awareness which catches the mind while it is telling itself stories of separation, martyrdom, and lack of self-worth. In this kind of awareness is the opportunity to acknowledge that these stories are only stories and we get to rewrite them as we please. In the practice of mindfulness is the opportunity to transform the story into one of self worth, dignity, courage, and the bounty that is gifted to us as we stand in the face of adversity. We come to find that in the end to be breathing, to be conscious and animate in a world that is conscious and animate, relating to self and the world around us, is enough. 

Yet, we all still live in a world with very little control of the circumstances of our lives. In the midst of that which we cannot control what we do have dominion over is a capacity to refine our ability to consciously wield our attitude, and sometimes this is all we have. When we wield our attitude to stand in dignity and in self worth we remember all living things are worthy, and all of our relationships become richer and more rewarding. Fundamentally the quality of relationships we have is directly dependent on the attitude we perceive them with.

 A friend of mine says the sky is not the limit, and he is right. You get to live the story you write, so choose a good one, maybe with unicorns hiding around the corner rather than monsters.

With Love, Always, in All Ways, For Giving, In Joy,