In The Flow

Today is a beautiful day to get into the current. At this moment I apprehensively await departure from the Los Rios boat house to travel to the put in at the top of a local river section known as "the box". One of the many gifts of my union with Mr. Oswald is that he is a seasoned river guide and I have the pleasure of sometime accompanying him on scenic, wet, and exciting adventures.  No matter if it is a journey I have been on before or something new, I always awake with a mix of feelings ranging from excitement to trepidation and everything inbetween.  The thing is, when your out there you have no control. The weather is unpredictable. The river is always changing. The guide is in charge. All you have is a paddle, a buoyant boat, a current, and what you make of it all. I have had more than once the experience of snow while rafting, great wild winds, terrible sun burns, long overnight trips with no rest and the flu, frightening rapids I have chosen to walk around, box canyons that there is no way out of but down the river, and much more. When I ruminate and reminisce I think to myself "no wonder I wake up with this bounty of emotion!" Yet, getting into the current, on a buoyant flotation device, with a paddle to wield skillfully is a beautiful metaphor for life, and today is a good a day as any to get into the flow.  Whether it's down a river canyon or the canyon of your work week the adventure is yours to experience, don't forget to enjoy the scenery and the company, to drink lots of water, and enjoy the ride!

With love, 


Water is Rising


Over the years many friends and loved ones of my heart have left this world. With each passing I am reminded sometimes like a gentle embrace and other times like a rising and gushing spring river of the fleeting minutes of this magical life. Another beautiful soul who shined light so briefly yet brightly into my life passed this week and once again I am reminded that each day of life is the time to attend to what is most important. The reminder of what is most important brings me brightly into the awareness that it is not what clothes I wear, what job I have, how much money I make, nor what pose I can do. What is most important is not what other people think of me, nor what kind of car I drive. Rather, it is how I treat myself and other people, mindfully present in these fleeting minutes in this body and this heart. I take a deep breath, I honor the beauty of the one who reminded me to just be here right now, and I hope to stay in the present moment for as long as I can remember. I hope to stay connected enough to connect to others even if briefly with honesty and love rather than judgment.

Today I spent in the dirt playing with the tulips I planted for the friend who left three years ago in April and praying for the one who left the other day. The reminder to be alive while living is a great gift. To enjoy the squeaks of my dog, the snuggles of my cat, the small irritations of living with my husband, the feel of gusting wind, aching back and blistering hands while pushing a heavy loaded wheelbarrow, and the sun on my back and arms because in a moment it will all be over.   Like the petals dropping from the tulips all life has a course to follow and dissolving back into itself is a part of that journey.

While here it is our responsibility to do our best to enjoy it, to open with courage to the love that is all around us shining every day like the sun and to go with grace when grace calls us back to our homes in the heart of all hearts.

Time is short and the water is rising.

With Love, Always, In All Ways, For Giving, In JOY!


Dancing to the DJ of Perfect Timing

Some days it seems to me that time drifts by so slowly, and yet I find myself rushing to complete tasks, trying to make the most of my productivity as if I am attempting to live out the lyrics of a Righteous Brothers song.  Other days go by so fast it feels as though I blink and the crisp brightness of morning has flashed into the dark of night, leaving me breathless with wonder watching the day go out like a blister in the sun.  

Admittedly, doing nothing, is not an easily found skill in my skill set.  I like a honey bee, buzz around all day picking up, putting down.  Some days there is clear vision behind the movement, a more beautifully choreographed dance of this and that, stuff and things.  Other days, I am a mish-mosh of clamoring about like a heavy footed boot wearing grunge kid in a mosh pit, moving deliberately, without much grace.

Regularly, making a conscious effort to be more present in the moment, I observe that the moment becomes more clearly a dance in the space of time rather than a race with time.  Like all dance parties some songs are fast, others are slow, and some, one just has to sit out.

It is when I sit one out that sometimes a storm rises in me, telling me that in sitting it out I loose momentum, I miss the opportunity to move forward, sideways, back, around in circles, but to move nonetheless.  Perhaps I am more like a shark, fearful that if I stop moving I will sink to the bottom and die.

However, with time, in time, I am learning to sit on the sidelines, if only for a moment, and catch a breath as I enjoy observing the undying flow of movement on the dance floor of life before me.  

In stillness I observe that I am never truly still, as my hearts is always beating while this body that houses me continues to breathe, lungs expanding, blood flowing, thoughts sometimes racing and other times drifting across the horizon of my mind like clouds.  Movement on the dance floor of life never ceases.  On the days when life feels stagnant, like momentum has ceased to move me forward toward my desired goals, or even backward and sideways away from them, I now acknowledge that the appearance of the feeling of inertia is only an illusion. 

The human ego when in a state of myopic self perception demands to be in control of the state of ones life journey, demands to be the DJ choosing the music.  When we become skilled in the practice of balancing our ego state into a perception of ourselves in a bigger picture, where all things are moving together and our actions contribute to and evolve from that net, we come to realize something greater than our small ego mind is really weaving the story and is truly playing the roll of DJ on the great dance floor of life.  Letting ourselves arrive to the dance party without concern of what the DJ will play, rather, aware of our own passionate desire to dance, or sit on the side and watch the glorious movement of life around us, is the gift we are given when we step out of the stream time management and into the present perfectly timed moment.  When we permit ourselves to be swept away in the current of the perceived concept that it, whatever it is, needs to happen right now, we steal from ourselves the grace we can bring to the steps of our own dance led by a partner we may not see, but have the opportunity to trust.  In trusting an energy greater than ourselves, we lift the pressure of perfect timing, the pressure of how and who, the pressure of control, and we open to the delight of being in the flow of the magical presence of the conscious universe, which when we allow ourselves, we see is always conspiring for our greater good.  Stepping out of the seat of control we come to find ourselves responding with ease to the songs this great DJ chooses to play for us, be them sad country songs, heavy metal ballads, or that happy song you call your jam.  Over time, we find ourself waking up with songs in our head like "time is on my side" and "sittin on the dock of the bay, wastin time" without a worry or a care for missing a step or a cue.

Today I acknowledge there is no race, nor place I need to be. I sing "time is on my side" as I look around and perceive all of the choreographed steps of perfect timing being executed by the brilliant magic of nature in the fullness of the season on the precipice of the harvest moon.

We can all enjoy more of each moment by breathing deeply, acknowledging the movement that is always present and does not stop, and the gift of our present awareness in this magic moment, time after time.  

With love in joy, slow dancing,